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Just for fun.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Ken B, Sep 18, 2007.

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  1. Ken B

    Ken B Elite Member

    41
    Feb 18, 2004
    Professional Status:
    Certified General Appraiser
    State:
    Florida
    BRAIN CRAMPS


    (On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

    Question: If you could live forever, would you and Why?
    Answer: " I would not l ive fo rever, because we should not
    live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
    then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
    which is why I would not live forever,"

    --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest .

    ``````````````````````````````````

    "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
    all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love
    to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and
    death and stuff."

    Mariah Carey

    ````````````

    "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
    important part of your life,"

    -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
    Spoke sperso n for federal anti-smoking campaign.

    `````````````````````````````````````````````````


    "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"

    -- Winston Bennett,
    University of Kentucky basketball forward
    `````````````````````````````````````````````


    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
    lowest crime rates in the country,"

    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

    `````````````````````````````

    "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
    our papers. We are the president."

    -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of
    subpoenaed documents.

    ````````````````````````````````````````````````````

    "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
    by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"

    --A congressional candidate in Texas .

    ````````````````````````````

    "Half this game is ninety percent mental."

    --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

    ``````````````````````````````````
    "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's
    the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

    --Al Gore, Vice President
    ```````````````````


    "I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix ."

    --Dan Quayle


    ``````````

    "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

    --Lee Iacocca


    ````````
    "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A
    genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -

    --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

    ````````````````````````````````````````````

    "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
    certain types of people."

    --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor .

    `````````````````````````````````

    "If we don 't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

    --Bill Clinton, President

    ``````````````````

    "Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come
    from overseas."

    --Keppel Enderbery

    ````````````````

    "Your food stamps will be stopped effective
    March 1992 because we received notice that
    you passed away. May God bless you. You may
    reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

    --Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina


    ``````` `````` ```````````````````````````````

    "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack
    in at night as they go to bed, and it will monitor their
    heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when
    they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

    --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
     
  2. TC

    TC Elite Member

    2
    Jan 31, 2002
    Professional Status:
    Certified Residential Appraiser
    State:
    Pennsylvania
    Joe Theisman is a moron and a maroon.


    TC
     
  3. Head Surfer

    Head Surfer Administrator Staff Member Founder Moderator

    11
    Jan 4, 2002
    Professional Status:
    Retired Appraiser
    State:
    Florida
    All seriousness aside those are funny, I don't care who you are!:rof:
     
  4. Ms. Janet

    Ms. Janet Elite Member
    Gold Supporting Member

    15
    Oct 27, 2004
    Professional Status:
    Certified Residential Appraiser
    State:
    Florida
    :rof: :rof: :rof: :rof: Thse are great! I can't even pick a favorite!
     
  5. Charles Witt

    Charles Witt Senior Member

    0
    Dec 13, 2002
    Professional Status:
    Certified Residential Appraiser
    State:
    Delaware
    Funny! Funny! Funny! I even remember a couple of them when they were said! :rof: :rof: :rof:
     
  6. Hamlet

    Hamlet Elite Member

    0
    Aug 14, 2006
    Professional Status:
    Certified Residential Appraiser
    State:
    Ohio
  7. TC

    TC Elite Member

    2
    Jan 31, 2002
    Professional Status:
    Certified Residential Appraiser
    State:
    Pennsylvania
    If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
    Dan Quayle
     
  8. Artemis Fowl

    Artemis Fowl Senior Member

    0
    Mar 16, 2004
    Professional Status:
    Certified Residential Appraiser
    State:
    Michigan
    LOVE THOSE!!

    Few More for ya...

    "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
    --Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

    "The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside."
    Jerry Coleman - Baseball Commentator


    Lost in translation:

    "The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid." -In a Yugoslavian Hotel

    "Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup" with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."
    -On the Menu of a Polish Hotel

    "Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."
    -In a Tokyo bar


    My all time favorite is...

    USTV commentator
    "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them - Oh my God, what have I just said?"
     
  9. TC

    TC Elite Member

    2
    Jan 31, 2002
    Professional Status:
    Certified Residential Appraiser
    State:
    Pennsylvania
  10. Mike Boyd

    Mike Boyd Elite Member

    0
    Jan 18, 2002
    Professional Status:
    Retired Appraiser
    State:
    California
    So is EVERYONE being quoted!
     
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