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New Millennium AMC Communication Center

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Mike Kennedy, Aug 26, 2009.

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  1. Mike Kennedy

    Mike Kennedy Elite Member

    Sep 28, 2003
    Professional Status:
    Certified Residential Appraiser
    New York
    Hello, welcome to the New Millennkum Appraisal Services Corporation - your call is very important to us!!....... at the tone please select from the following menu. All calls are recorded to enable us to update your profile and serve you better...............beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

    If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.
    If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
    If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
    If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
    If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.
    If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
    If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.
    If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
    If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.
    If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.
    If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.
    If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
    If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.
    If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy
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