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Where to Live After Retirement

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Carnivore, Sep 20, 2007.

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  1. Carnivore

    Carnivore Elite Member

    0
    Jan 15, 2002
    Professional Status:
    Certified Residential Appraiser
    State:
    North Carolina
    Where to Live After Retirement


    You can live in Phoenix , Arizona where.....
    1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
    2. You've experienced condensation from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
    3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
    4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
    5. You know that " dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
    6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

    You can Live in California where...
    1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
    2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
    3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
    4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
    5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
    6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought

    You can Live in New York City where...
    1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .
    2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
    3. You think Central Park is "nature,"
    4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
    5. You've worn out a car horn.
    6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

    You can Live in Maine where...
    1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco
    2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
    3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
    4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
    5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

    You can Live in the Deep South where...
    1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
    2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
    3. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
    4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.

    You can live in Colorado where...
    1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
    2. You tell your husband to pick up 'Granola' on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
    3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
    4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

    You can live in the Midwest where...
    1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name .
    2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
    3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
    4. You end sentences with a preposi tion: "Where's my coat at?"
    5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

    AND You can live in Florida where..
    1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
    2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
    3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist..
    4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
    5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
     
  2. Mike Boyd

    Mike Boyd Elite Member

    0
    Jan 18, 2002
    Professional Status:
    Retired Appraiser
    State:
    California
    Lest we all forget, Northern California is as different from Southern California as South Carolina is from South Dakota.
     
  3. JT1974

    JT1974 Senior Member

    0
    Dec 16, 2006
    Professional Status:
    Certified General Appraiser
    State:
    Wisconsin
    You can live in the Midwest where...
    1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name .
    2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
    3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
    4. You end sentences with a preposi tion: "Where's my coat at?"
    5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

    This is right on brother.
     
  4. The Dog

    The Dog Senior Member

    0
    Apr 18, 2005
    Professional Status:
    Certified General Appraiser
    State:
    Oregon
    Not if you ask ANY Oregonian, including the transplanted Californians. (GRIN)
     
  5. Farm Gal

    Farm Gal Elite Member

    0
    Jan 14, 2002
    Professional Status:
    Licensed Appraiser
    State:
    Nebraska
    You can live in the Midwest where... the corollary to item #3 is
    6. If you don't like the weather wait a minute, she'll change!!

    Mother Nature is kind of a drama queen out here...

    Hey has anyone heard of any near miss lightning strikes on humans?

    I've never heard of the convulsion effect, but I spoke with a 'near victim' who was sitting in his truck digging through the glovebox.. with the door closed and no body parts on the ground, when a pretty big strike hit close by.

    This kid is a HS sophomore, in excellent physical condition (football) and said his entire body convulsed into a fetal position, all muscles seemingly FULLY contracted for a few seconds, hair straight out in a halo and then released after the thunder rocked the truck (big time)... Either Lightning of the concussion also shattered the front door and took a BIG limb off the tree out front... and blew out about 18 inches of concrete curb!

    Lucky kid eh?


    Anyway I haven't spoke to anyone else who had such a big strike/near miss.

    The direct hit victims of that big a bolt tend to fry/die, and all the near miss folks I have ever spoken to were golfing or on a boat!
     
  6. Allen Bruckner

    Allen Bruckner Junior Member

    0
    Oct 25, 2002
    Professional Status:
    Certified Residential Appraiser
    State:
    Florida
    Or your neck of the woods. In N Carolina,
    Good Bar B Q
    Fried Pork Rinds
    Low Taxes
    100+ in the summer
    And Lake Norman..............
     
  7. Mountain Man

    Mountain Man Elite Member

    23
    Jan 15, 2002
    Professional Status:
    Certified General Appraiser
    State:
    Georgia
    N.GA (not the ATL!!!) Mild winters, maybe 2 inches of snow 3 times. Cool summers, 100 only in a couple weeks of July. But we have fresh trout in 60-50 degree water to cool you off. Plenty of national and state forest, and you have to be able to afford to live here. We have some of the highest $$$ real estate in all of GA, slackers are not welcome. Sure we have plenty of the beer/movie/bait/Playboy local stores. And yes, "He needed killin'" is a valid defense! But not everyone has 2 first names, we do have a goodly portion of damn Yanks!! But for what it's worth, "y'all" is singular AND plural. Youenz is also singular AND plural. Git it wrought! If youenz ever break down with a flat, don't worry. A red Chevy Z71 with a Gawgia Bull Dawgs Sticker will pull over shortly to change your tar. No tip needed, our boyz live to help ya'.
     
  8. Alisa

    Alisa Member

    0
    Jul 18, 2005
    Professional Status:
    Certified Residential Appraiser
    State:
    Texas
    Lee Ann, I met a man once who had been deaf but due to a lightening
    strike he had regained his hearing. His doctors said it was a mirable -- one that he hadn't suffered any permanent injur and of course, that he
    could hear.


    uote=Lee Ann;1452508]You can live in the Midwest where... the corollary to item #3 is
    6. If you don't like the weather wait a minute, she'll change!!

    Mother Nature is kind of a drama queen out here...

    Hey has anyone heard of any near miss lightning strikes on humans?

    I've never heard of the convulsion effect, but I spoke with a 'near victim' who was sitting in his truck digging through the glovebox.. with the door closed and no body parts on the ground, when a pretty big strike hit close by.

    This kid is a HS sophomore, in excellent physical condition (football) and said his entire body convulsed into a fetal position, all muscles seemingly FULLY contracted for a few seconds, hair straight out in a halo and then released after the thunder rocked the truck (big time)... Either Lightning of the concussion also shattered the front door and took a BIG limb off the tree out front... and blew out about 18 inches of concrete curb!

    Lucky kid eh?


    Anyway I haven't spoke to anyone else who had such a big strike/near miss.

    The direct hit victims of that big a bolt tend to fry/die, and all the near miss folks I have ever spoken to were golfing or on a boat![/quote]
     
  9. Mike Kennedy

    Mike Kennedy Elite Member

    80
    Sep 28, 2003
    Professional Status:
    Certified Residential Appraiser
    State:
    New York
    You think eye contact is an act of aggression.


    hey.......you LOOKIN AT MEEEEEEE ??????? :Eyecrazy:


    You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

    Ain't that sumwheres between Idahoo and um.....Whymoanin?:shrug: :icon_mrgreen:


     
  10. Hamlet

    Hamlet Elite Member

    0
    Aug 14, 2006
    Professional Status:
    Certified Residential Appraiser
    State:
    Ohio
    [/QUOTE]

    I had lightning come through a phone line and set the house on fire. Unfortunately, on vacation at the time and the house burnt completely down and lost everything.

    I never talk on a land line now during a lightning storm. I also unplug everything electronic that can't be replaced easliy. It is not something to take lightly. :sad:
     
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