[Mike Kennedy]

TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO A CHEAPER HEALTH
CARE PLAN


(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.



(9) Directions to your Doctor's office include "Take a left when you
enter the trailer park."



(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.



(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter..



(6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is "An apple
a day."



(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to
Goodwill last month.



(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out of network charges,
this is not a typographical error.



(3) The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."



(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.



AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED A VERY CHEAP HEALTH CARE PLAN:



(1) You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape.