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Old 09-19-2007, 09:45 AM
Patrick W Patrick W is offline
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
State: Michigan
Professional Status: Certified Residential Appraiser
Posts: 124
Default Lawyers

During a trial, in a small Missouri town, the local prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. She was sworn in, asked if she would tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, on the Bible, so help her God.The witness was a proper well-dressed elderly lady, the grandmother type, well spoken and poised.

The prosecuting attorney approached the woman and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk badly about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the sense to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper-pushing shyster. Yes, I know you quite well."

The lawyer was stunned. He couldn't even think for a few minutes. Then, slowly backed away, fearing the looks on the judge and jurors' faces, not to mention the court reporter who documented every word.

Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster,too.He's lazy, bigoted, and has a bad drinking problem. The man can't build or keep a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state.Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen slipping downward in his chair, looking at the floor.Laughter mixed with gasps, thundered throughout the courtroom and the audience was on the verge of chaos.

At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called both attorneys to the bench, and in a very quiet voice said, "If either of you morons asks her if she knows me, you're going to jail."
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Old 09-19-2007, 10:00 AM
Mike Kennedy's Avatar
Mike Kennedy Mike Kennedy is offline
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Southern Hudson Valley
State: New York
Professional Status: Certified Residential Appraiser
Posts: 27,720
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which one was elected Governor??????
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Old 09-19-2007, 01:55 PM
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Mike Kennedy Mike Kennedy is offline
 
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Location: Southern Hudson Valley
State: New York
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Posts: 27,720
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i emailed to all my Attorney clients. ........they loved it. ! thanks.
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Old 09-20-2007, 02:42 AM
Mike Boyd Mike Boyd is offline
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Santa Rosa, CA
State: California
Professional Status: Retired Appraiser
Posts: 11,822
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Had I been the attorney or the prosecutor, I would have had her confirm that SHE was the only non sinner in the courtroom. Just as you must do in the rebuttal of a review, you gotta discredit the witness/reviewer.
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