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  #1  
Old 09-21-2007, 12:32 PM
john snyder john snyder is offline
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Flint, Michigan
State: Michigan
Professional Status: Certified General Appraiser
Posts: 1,190
Default Marriage - oldies but goodies - watch out chick clique

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."


John
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  #2  
Old 09-21-2007, 07:45 PM
Ray Miller's Avatar
Ray Miller Ray Miller is offline
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Southwest Wisconsin
State: Wisconsin
Professional Status: Licensed Appraiser
Posts: 12,000
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by john snyder View Post
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

True

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

Not so true

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

True

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas

Not really

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

Companionship, some one to tell she nice to be with, some one to tell her she is worth more then all the gold in the world, someone to tell her she is above all other women in meeting her mans needs, someone to let her do her thing with out interference, to some to confort her is she fails, some to pick up the pieces and help put then back together, someone that never tells her I told you so, Some to tell how great the new clothes are, someone to be really honest with her, someone she knows that wants to be with her.


I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

Very seldom

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman

Wrong

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison

Made a poor choice


"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran

Not if you love each other. Each can have there own.

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray

You made the wrong choice both times.

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

True

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous

Right


You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

I still do, I don't have to ask permission. But I assume I know my limitations or my choices.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

Poor guy

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

Right

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous

Wrong

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous

Poor fools, I have know a few that wanted there wife to leave, when they did leave they were the most down in the dumps men I knew.

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Mine is
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Yes mine is.


John

Any one else care to ansewer

Just an old coots thinking
  #3  
Old 09-21-2007, 07:56 PM
Tom Woolford Tom Woolford is offline
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nature Coast
State: Florida
Professional Status: Certified Residential Appraiser
Posts: 5,451
Default

Ray, you are a lucky man, and I'm sure there are many female members who are equally lucky. This is why I don't gamble. I'm not so lucky.
  #4  
Old 09-21-2007, 08:36 PM
Mike Boyd Mike Boyd is offline
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Santa Rosa, CA
State: California
Professional Status: Retired Appraiser
Posts: 11,822
Default

I keep telling myself these truths....over and over and over and over and over and over and over. I could go on but it would be repetitive.
  #5  
Old 09-21-2007, 09:08 PM
Liz Mura's Avatar
Liz Mura Liz Mura is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Mesa, AZ
State: Arizona
Professional Status: Certified Residential Appraiser
Posts: 852
Default

My husband and I are having our 25th anniversary on Monday. The card I got him says on the Front, "If I hadn't met you..." and on the inside it says, "I would be driving someone else nuts". Truer words were never spoken.
  #6  
Old 09-22-2007, 06:25 AM
Frederick's Avatar
Frederick Frederick is offline
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: South Jersey
State: New Jersey
Professional Status: Certified General Appraiser
Posts: 2,090
Default

Although matrimony is filled with risks and pitfalls, there are some people you meet in life you just know you will never get over. The ebb and flow of life's circumstances and each other's emotions is the spice that gives it flavor and makes it satisfying.

Like a precious stone, a good woman is hard to find.
  #7  
Old 09-22-2007, 10:40 AM
lofapco's Avatar
lofapco lofapco is offline
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
State: Minnesota
Professional Status: Certified General Appraiser
Posts: 150
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frederick View Post
Like a precious stone, a good woman is hard to find.
I have also heard that a hard man is good to find.... But then again I am a bit Dyslexic...

Dyslexic's of the World UNTIE!
  #8  
Old 09-24-2007, 12:28 AM
Sunshine in VA's Avatar
Sunshine in VA Sunshine in VA is offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
State: Virgin Islands
Professional Status: Licensed Appraiser
Posts: 625
Default

If you've ever been married, you've no doubt experienced hallway s&x....

That's when you're ticked off and avoiding each other, but have to pass near one another in the hall....

Screw you!
Screw you too!

  #9  
Old 09-24-2007, 06:04 PM
john snyder john snyder is offline
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Flint, Michigan
State: Michigan
Professional Status: Certified General Appraiser
Posts: 1,190
Default

Hello Ray,

Nice comments about your wife.

Most of the quotes are from comedians, so hence the irreverence.

I have found that when I am in or bordering on a disagreement with my wife that If I just step back and asked " Honey, are just talking to here yourself talk or do you really want me to reply to that?" Usually that gets a count of ten for both of us. works for me/us.

Still, a little irreverence without being unduly mean can be ok when the verbal tone rises to unacceptable, don't you think?

When I first became an appraiser, being a city kid ,I used to wonder why pole barns are built so far from the house. Then as I became older with my own hobbies and in the interest of peace I discovered why, (I mean other then livestock). I actually give more value for pole barns then most appraisers in the area.

jbs
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