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Old 09-24-2004, 10:09 AM
Pamela Crowley (Florida)'s Avatar
Pamela Crowley (Florida) Pamela Crowley (Florida) is offline
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Wherever We Are Parked
State: Florida
Professional Status: Retired Appraiser
Posts: 25,254

Disclaimer: I didn't verify these stories and don't care if these are true or not.
They're funny!!!


Number One Idiot of 2004

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her t hat the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

Number Two Idiot of 2004

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a
life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane
and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper
was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft
was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

Number Three Idiot of 2004

A true story out of San Francisco : A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

Number Four Idiot of 2004

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, because I don't believe you are over 21. " The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At that point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign!

Idiot Number Five of 2004

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled
first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.

Idiot Number Six of 2004

Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a
cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he
lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block
bounced back and hit the would be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of plexiglass. The whole event was
caught on videotape. Oh, that's smart.

Give him his sign.

Idiot Number Seven of 2004

Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into
a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they en't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

Sign please.

Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote (and breed).
Scary, isn't it?!
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men/women do nothing.
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Old 09-24-2004, 10:57 AM
Wendy Wendy is offline
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Volusia/Flagler
State: Florida
Professional Status: Certified Residential Appraiser
Posts: 4,133

Quote: Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote (and breed).
Scary, isn't it?!

and become the 'special' LOs and Skippy Appraisers we all know too well.
Old 09-24-2004, 11:29 AM
tommcsherry tommcsherry is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: N38 57.536' W123 6.620'
State: Nevada
Professional Status: Certified Residential Appraiser
Posts: 1,681

Unbelievable.....I love these things, true or not! Thanks Pam.
Old 09-24-2004, 11:47 AM
Daniel Williams Daniel Williams is offline
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Illinois
State: Illinois
Professional Status: Appraiser Trainee
Posts: 1,013

Old 09-24-2004, 12:44 PM
Chris Harrison's Avatar
Chris Harrison Chris Harrison is offline
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: West Jordan, Utah
State: Utah
Professional Status: Certified Residential Appraiser
Posts: 2,031


Nice x-ray of Dubya's head! :rainfro: :rainfro: :rainfro:
Old 09-24-2004, 01:33 PM
David R. Stevenson's Avatar
David R. Stevenson David R. Stevenson is offline
Join Date: Dec 2003
State: Tennessee
Professional Status: General Public
Posts: 7,184


It is nice to read such stories -thank you....! Much of the happy talk in many other

happy topics seem to behave this way ...

Happy Happy
"It is in war that the State really comes into its own: " -Murray Rothbard
Old 09-24-2004, 05:37 PM
jay trotta's Avatar
jay trotta jay trotta is offline
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Snowglobe
State: Connecticut
Professional Status: Certified Residential Appraiser
Posts: 6,387


signed up fer a Speed reading course for taday, when I got there it was all over :rainfro: :rainfro:

say wha

DL - Dubya, gotta luv it :lol:
the road of life is always under construction
Old 09-26-2004, 06:51 PM

Posts: n/a

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Old 09-26-2004, 07:57 PM
Mister Ed's Avatar
Mister Ed Mister Ed is offline
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Middle Georgia
State: Georgia
Professional Status: Certified Residential Appraiser
Posts: 3,432


Thanks for the laugh...

I hope you are safe....

If crime doesn't pay...
Is working for an AMC a crime?
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