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  #1  
Old 09-24-2004, 03:00 PM
Darryl Leslie Darryl Leslie is offline
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
State: Oklahoma
Professional Status: General Public
Posts: 6
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Think you're having a bad day?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen
shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some
kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric
kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly
current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood,
breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had
been happily listening to his Walkman.

STILL think you're having a bad day?

Two animal rights protesters were protesting the cruelty
of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany.
Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped
through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two
hopeless protesters were trampled to death.

STILL think you're having a bad day?

There was a case in one hospital's Intensive Care ward
where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday
morning, at about 11am, regardless of their medical
condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had
something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve
the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11 a.m.
on Sundays.

So a Worldwide team of experts was assembled to
investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday
morning, a few minutes before 11am, all doctors and nurses
nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what
the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding
wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to
ward off the evil spirits.

Just when the clock struck 11... Pookie Johnson, the
part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged
the life support system so that he could use the outlet
for the vacuum cleaner.

Think you're having a bad day?

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon
Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special
ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were
being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause
from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer
whale ate them both.

What? STILL having a bad day?

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on
a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender"
stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it
and was blown to bits.

There now, feeling better?
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  #2  
Old 09-25-2004, 12:41 AM
John Janecek's Avatar
John Janecek John Janecek is offline
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Central Coast, California
State: California
Professional Status: Certified Residential Appraiser
Posts: 27
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How's this for a bad day at the office ----
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