Real Estate Appraisal Forum

appraisersforum.com logo
The Premiere Online Community for Real Estate Appraisers!
 Fastest Way to Find a Real Estate Appraiser Enter Zip Code:
 
 
Go Back   Appraisers Forum > Other Forums > The Watercooler
Register Help Our Rules Calendar Archives Mark Forums Read


Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 10-03-2004, 07:10 AM
Hal Pollock Hal Pollock is offline
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: West Haven Connecticut
State: Connecticut
Professional Status: Certified General Appraiser
Posts: 1,463
Default

12 Shots

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."
The bartender says, "What do you have?"
The guy says, "75 cents."

Got Any Grapes?

A ducks walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"
The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?"
Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes. The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell: ''Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!''
The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, ''Got any nails?''
Confused, the bartender says no.
''Good!'' says the duck. ''Got any grapes?''

Stumpy Legged Pink Dog

A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash the barman says, “Geez that's a weird dog: he's stumpy-legged, pink, and doesn't have a tail, but I bet my rottweiler would beat the heck out of it.”
50 bucks is laid down. Out in the yard the rottweiler gets mauled to pieces.
Another drinker says his pit bull will win but the bet is 100 bucks.
Another trip to the yard and when it's all over there are bits of pit-bull terrier all over the place. The drinker pays up and says, “Say what breed is that anyway?”
The owner says, “Until I cut his tail off and painted it pink it was the same breed as every other alligator.”

The Bar

A guy walked into a bar... OUCH!

Bear in Bar

A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, ''Sorry, we don't give beer to bears in bars.''
The bear replies, ''If you don't give me a beer, I'll eat that lady over there.''
The bartender says, ''Go ahead.''
So the bear eats the lady and asks for a beer. The bartender says, ''Sorry, we don't give beer to bears on drugs.''
''What do mean,'' says the bear. ''I'm not on drugs.''
''Yes, you are, that was the barbituate.''
Sponsored Links

  #2  
Old 10-03-2004, 11:15 PM
Daniel Williams Daniel Williams is offline
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Illinois
State: Illinois
Professional Status: Appraiser Trainee
Posts: 1,013
Default

A farmer and his three daugheters walk into a bar, and the bartender says "Wait a minute, I think you're in the wrong joke."
  #3  
Old 10-04-2004, 08:10 AM
Joker's Avatar
Joker Joker is offline
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Hicksville, Appalachia
State: Ohio
Professional Status: Certified General Appraiser
Posts: 6,070
Default

A piece of string walks into a bar and asks for a drink, the bartender said "We don't serve strings in here, you'll have to leave."

The string goes outside, contorts and twists himself about abit and walks back in. The bartender said "Hey, aren't you that same piece of string I just threw out?" The string replied, "No, I am a frayed knot!"
__________________
I don't need no stinkin' signature line.
  #4  
Old 10-04-2004, 09:11 AM
Daniel Williams Daniel Williams is offline
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Illinois
State: Illinois
Professional Status: Appraiser Trainee
Posts: 1,013
Default

Horse walks into a bar.....bartender asks, So, Why the long Face?
Sponsored Links

Closed Thread


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump




Copyright © 2000-, AppraisersForum.com, All Rights Reserved
     Terms of Use  Privacy Policy
AppraisersForum.com is proudly hosted by the folks at AppraiserSites.com

Fastest Way to Find a Real Estate Appraiser Enter Zip Code:
Partner Sites:
AppraiserUSA.com - National Appraiser Directory AllDomainsUSA.com - Domain Name Registration
DeadbeatListings.com - Deadbeat ListingsAppraiserSites.com - Web Hosting for the Professional Real Estate Appraiser
Find FHA Appraisers - FHA Appraiser Search Commercial Appraisers - Commercial Appraiser Search
Relocation Appraisal - Find Relocation Appraisers Domain Reseller - Business Opportunity
Home Security Buzz - Home Security Info Radon Testing - Radon Gas Info
My Medicare Forum - Medicare Info Stop Smoking Help - Help Quitting Smoking
CordlessPhoneStore.com - Great Cordless Phones AndroidTabletCity.com - Android Tablet Computers

Follow AppraisersForum.com:          Find us on Facebook            Follow us on Twitter


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:23 AM.

SiteMap: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93