Email Me Your Inspection Stories!

[Patty Stefan]

I am a former Reviewer for Chesapeake Appraisal & Setlement Services (see my post on good, bad, ugly Chesapeake). I stress the word FORMER, please don't send me any hate mail. :lol: I currently have a part time job from home typing appraisal reports for residential appraisers in and out of my home state. I've had the privilege of talking to many of you throughout the United States while I worked at Chesapeake. The one thing I miss is your inspection stories. I've heard some great ones. My reason for this posting is I would like to develop a newsletter that you could subscribe to on my website. It would kinda be like A Day In The Life Of A Residential Appraiser. One of the topics I would like to feature is the funniest or most interesting inspection story. I know you have some great ones out there. So please email them to me! I'm looking forward to reading them. :wink:

 

[John Hassler]

A lawyer sent me out to check on a property where the private 2nd was going south. It's occupied by an unknown tenant so I ring the bell and figure I might be able to get inside (seem better than doing a drive-by). Well, this Hells Angel type awnsers the door. This guy is big (and I'm 6'1") and rough looking but not upset at all that I'm there. I tell him the reason for my visit and, for whaterever reason, he lets me in. I do all the usual stuff and a half hour later I thank him and go back to the office. There on my voice mail is a call from the esq. telling me he gave me the wrong street number! And this guy charges $225/hr.

I can't help but think that some where, in some biker bar, there my charicature on the "most wanted" list.

John Hassler

 

[Restrain]

Went to do a foreclosure in a nice subdivision of tract homes. Supposedly vacant, homeowner in hospital. The home was supposed to have some personal property but that's all. Went to the door and as I reached out for the keybox, I heard a radio. Then I heard someone talking. Quietly, I backed away and called the police. After appx. 20 mintues, two cars showed up. One stayed at the front door, while the other three went around back. After appx. 15 minutes, the cops motioned me around to the rear. There were seven teenagers standing in a row. All were runaways. They had set up shop in the home. As I did a walkthrough (over, around and through the garbage), I found another teenager still asleep in the front bedroom. When I told the cops, they said "Another one?", then went and pulled him out. After two wasted hours, we had to wait to have the house resecured and rekeyed before I could come back to do the appraisal.

 

[Bemis Pownall]

great idea Patty

I think if you just lurk here youll get all the stories you want, and WE won't have to type them twice.

 

[larryhaskell]

Patty:

A few years ago when I was a staff appraiser for a large bank that covered the whole state, I was loaned out to our Las Vegas office. I received a request for a interior inspection on a very expensive home that was in foreclosure. We always told the borrower in those cases that it was for portfolio management purposes only so we didn't have to use the F word. The borrowers spoke with a heavy accent and had the looks of movie stars. I was at the property for more than an hour due to the size of the house but the people were very nice and helpful in providing information about their property. As I was finishing, I was chit chatting with the owner and asked him what he did for a living, I just had a feeling it was something exotic and it was. He and his wife had a knife throwing act in one of the local casinos. I left shortly thereafter.

 

[Patty Stefan]

Keep those stories coming. This is great! I can't tell you some of the stories I've heard in the past. I remember one appraiser who told us he went into this property and the owner had Barbie dolls hanging from the pipes in the basement. I mean like a noose around the neck. One Barbie doll was upstairs sitting on the T. V. Indian style and naked with a clock between it's legs and it's face painted like Mel Gibsons in Braveheart. 8O
This is why I'd rather type appraisals then actually be an appraiser. This way it leaves all the fun stuff for you. :wink:

 

[Caterina Platt]

Patty,

Try this link:

http://appraisersforum.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=1361

Has some pretty funny ones, although they are all geared at animal stories.

 

[Anonymous]

Several years ago I did a few appraisals for the U.S. Marshalls of properties taken from a drug dealer. After a year updates were needed and a Marshall went with me to a drug infested neighborhood to reinspect the properties. One house was in an alley surrounded by other vacant and abandonded houses. A city police car was parked in front of the house, the Marshall asked the police officer what the problem was but the officer was responding to unknown trouble so we all waited in front of the house for five minutes.

Finally the Marshall opened the front door of the house and found a county sheriff in the living room with his gun drawn. After shouts of "US Marshall, Sheriff and Police" we found that the Sheriff was looking for a murder suspect who was running through the neighborhood, the police were told that the sheriff's men were in the area but not why and the Marshall knew nothing about the manhunt since these lawmen couldn't talk to each other on their radios.

After a few minutes the sheriff's men said that the house was clear and I began my inspection. As I headed to the basement I heard a shout "DON'T MOVE MOTHER...ER" I stayed with the city police officer as the Marshall went to help the sheriff who was bringing the murder suspect out of the basement, he had been hiding in the cold air return duct.

 

[Don Clark]

8)

Patty:

A few years ago a friend of mine was asked to do a review on a property in an urban area. The original appraiser stated that she could not gain access to the property, and id an exterior only although she had been asked to do an interior inspection. She was also 8.5 months pregnant, and never left her car. Her opinion was $35,000 by exterior inspection. The tax assessment was abot twice that amount. The reviewer went to the property, found that it had been abandoned for some time and went in. While inside a gun battle raged on the street between rival gangs. The reviewers first call was to 911, the second to the lender who was told "whatever the hell she said it was worth, it's worth". When the police arrived he hurriedly left and never went back.

A few years ago I was asked to do a foreclosure appraisal on the property, and was asked by the client to hire a lock smith and send them the bill. I called a fella I had used before. After about an hour after the lock smith went to the house he called very excited and said..."I believe someone is dead in the house". He stayed just long enough to change the lock and open a few windows. Now this was the middle of July. When I went to the property I was met at the door by the most horrible smell I had ever smelled. He was right, it smelled like something had died. On further inspection I did not find anyone dead but did find:

1. Refrigerator packed with meat and vegtables with the power being off for over 2 weeks in July.

2. A fish tank that had not been changed probably in a year from the time the owners wife had left him, and it had 1 "goldfish" still swimming that had turned white.

3. A food dish for a cat, and a litter box. (never did find the cat).

4. A years worth of dirty dishes.

5. Dirty clothing piled everywhere.

6. Money scattered all over the house.

7. Crates of tools in the garage.

8. Crates of clothing in the garage.

Seems that the owner was a longshoreman and had stolen the crates of tools and clothing from off the docks, and had simply put new clothing on when the old ones got dirty, and never washed the others. It took 8 Gallons of fantastic cleaner, and several 8 pound bags of kitty litter to clean the kitchen. After all stuff was taken from the refrigerator, it was washed down with fantastic and the run off covered with kitty litter. When i think about it, I can still smell that awful smell.

Don Clark, IFA

 

[Patty Stefan]

Oh Don,

I don't even want to think about that smell. I have another part time job working for a company that handles preservation and eviction services. I get to print pictures of the very kind of thing you just described.