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Governing Laws

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Jonah

Thread Starter
Junior Member
Joined
Mar 22, 2006
Professional Status
Licensed Appraiser
State
Utah
Laws!

Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.



Law of the Workshop - Any tool or machine part, when dropped, will bounce or roll to the least accessible location.



Law of Observation - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.



Law of the Telephone - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.



Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.



Variation Law - If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.



Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.



Law of Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.



Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.



Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.



Law of the Theatre - At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last.



Law of Coffee - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, someone will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.



Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.



Law of Rugs/Carpets - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.



Law of Location - No matter where you go, there you are.



Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.



Law of Silence - A closed mouth gathers no feet.



Law of Availability - As soon as you find a product that you really like, the maker will stop making it.



Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor. By the time you get there you'll feel better. If you don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.



Assembly Law - Identical parts, aren't.



And finally . . .



& Cole's Law - Thinly sliced cabbage with dressing
 
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