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I Love Bad Pun Jokes

Terrel L. Shields

Thread Starter
Elite Member
Gold Supporting Member
Joined
May 2, 2002
Professional Status
Certified General Appraiser
State
Arkansas
Quasimodo is getting old and needs a replacement. A pair of twins in a village decide they need a job so one of them says he'll go try out for the bell ringing job. So he asks "Quasimodo, can I try out as the bell ringer?" "Sure", says Quasimodo, "here is how you do it, you have to jump up on the bell and get it to swinging then you time it so you can jump off and go to the next bell. You must always start with the biggest bell."

Quasimodo demonstrates and jumps to the bell in the tower and starts it swinging. Then he times it when it reaches its peak and jumps back off. "Try it" said Quasimodo, so the lad leaps for the biggest bell and launches himself toward it, but slams face first into the side of the bell, slids off and loses his footing and falls over the parapet three hundred feet to the courtyard.

When Quasimodo reached the courtyard, a small crowd had gathered around the pitiful body. "Quasimodo, he fell from the bell tower: do you know him?" "Well no, but his face rings a bell."

A week later the brother, not hearing from the twin went to find the Norte Dame and Quasimodo, is surprised to see another identical man came to the cathedral. "Quasimodo" he said "My twin brother was supposed to come here looking for a job." Quasimodo doesn't want to tell him what happened so he denies he was ever there. The brother then asked if he could apply for the job. So Quasimodo takes him up into the bell tower and explains to him the identical routine he had taught his brother. Sure enough, the man was as bad at ringing the bell as his brother and he too crashes head first into the bell and falls to his death 300 feet below.

Once again a crowd gathers around the crumpled body and they ask, "Quasimodo, do you know this man?" "No," he replies "but he's a dead ringer for that guy who was here last week."
 

Mark K

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 27, 2004
Professional Status
Certified Residential Appraiser
State
Indiana
True story.

Our old lazy cat was sleeping, as usual, and my teenage daughter couldn't get him to move. I told her he looked catatonic.

Another time she was upset about the dead cat just up the road. I suggested it was a catastrophe.

Growing up, she spent a lot of time looking at me and just shaking her head.
 

Terrel L. Shields

Thread Starter
Elite Member
Gold Supporting Member
Joined
May 2, 2002
Professional Status
Certified General Appraiser
State
Arkansas
catatonic.
I am confident the source of the word related to watching a cat sleep. I used to have one who slept on the countertop in my RV with his head hanging over the side. So I'd gently pick his head up, slide him across the counter, and 10 minutes later he'd have his head hanging over the edge again...
 

VALU8

Junior Member
Joined
Oct 23, 2017
Professional Status
General Public
State
California
A piece of rope walks into a bar, sits down, orders a drink... Bartender barks- HEY WE DON'T SERVE ROPE HERE IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT.

A little bummed out the rope walks out, then thinks... He contorts himself in all directions to and fro, razzles up his ends and walks back in, sits down and orders a drink.

Bartender eyes him up and down... HEY YOU LOOK FAMILIAR. DIDN'T I JUST KICK YOU OUT?

"Nope. I'm a frayed knot."
 

VALU8

Junior Member
Joined
Oct 23, 2017
Professional Status
General Public
State
California
Last night the local police department had all of the toilets stolen from the station...

They're asking anyone to come forward with information- For now they have nothing to go on.
 

VALU8

Junior Member
Joined
Oct 23, 2017
Professional Status
General Public
State
California
How do you make a napkin dance?

Put a little boogie in it.
 
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