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Kids...

Michael P Jacobs MAI

Thread Starter
Member
Gold Supporting Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2007
Professional Status
Certified General Appraiser
State
Florida
God saved me from being a self centered prick by assigning me a Huck Finn late in my years. In a truly "come to Jesus" event He almost killed me with this one. I'd pretty much be retired on the beach right now with shallow insignificant concerns (but having an entirely different kind of fun) if He hadn't changed my path. I'm so glad he did, tho.

Please, share your thoughts and experiences even if it's just pet stories. I'll post more if you do...
 

Michigan CG

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Nov 1, 2006
Professional Status
Certified General Appraiser
State
Michigan
I have two biological kids who were raised pretty normal; they are 29 and 26. When they were basically out of the house my wife wanted to do foster care and we agreed not to adopt (we were 44 at the time).

Along came #9 (ninth foster kid) in 2012. Her case took forever and when we got her she was sick, malnourished and had very consistent grades....... all D's and F's. Her case took forever because her bio mom would do just enough to not lose total custody.

Come 2014 it was over for the mom and we decided to adopt as she was not healthy and on the honor roll. She still had many problems from her abuse but as a 12 year-old black girl there was no chance of her being adopted and she would have languished in the system until she was 18 and then turned loose on society. Hey, what is six years? We wouldn't be downsizing from the 3,000 SF home like we planned but it was the right thing to do.

But it got complicated. They wanted us to take #15. He was three. He was her half brother and the lady who agreed to adopt him got ill and could not adopt. I was now 48 and the thought of taking on a three year-old was not in the plan. We said no, he was very adoptable and cute as a bug. I told them to do math, I would be 63 when he graduates from high school and my plan was not to work that long; my wife would be close to 64.

Long story short, she is going to be a senior in high school this year and we would be one year away from our planned downsizing but he just turned eight so make it ten more years.

They are both not perfect. He has no memories of any abuse and loves his mommy. He has had some issues in school but is a smart kid. He is a work in progress. She has been a challenge; her grades slipped after being on the honor roll and she has had some other issues, some attributed to her abuse. I never really believed in some of the counselor/psychiatrist stuff until we went through it (she was in counseling for four years). When I would see a crime-drama on TV and the kid was drawing pictures I was skeptical; I witnessed this in real life and it was shocking and amazing depending on the pictures drawn be an eleven year-old.

Because of the trial we had to switch her to another school district which is small and rural; she is the only black person in the high school. She has had incidents of racism twice which the school handled very well (three kids suspended from school); those incidents have made her stronger. She has had to learn that everything is not free (she was taught that in her previous life). She was taught that white people are all racists and they get better things from the government (her bio mom taught her that food and housing was free from the government but that white people got more and better stuff). She has learned that she is held responsible for her actions, although still does some dumb things like some teenagers.

She is not Harvard material but will go to community college, maybe go into a trade. We have sent her to one-week summer programs and has been exposed to medical, engine repair, woodworking and a couple others that are hosted by the community college.

We have given them many gifts and their lives will be different because of us but the greatest gift they got is each other. They will have a lifetime relationship that they will not have with their four other siblings.
 
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