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Men need to study this

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Doug Wegener

Thread Starter
Senior Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2005
Professional Status
Certified Residential Appraiser
State
Oregon
1. “Fine”
This is the word women use at the end of any argument
when they feel they are right but can’t stand to hear
you argue any longer. It means that you should shut
up. (NEVER use “fine” to describe how she looks.
This will cause you to have one of those arguments.)

2. “Five minutes”
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your basketball game is going to last
before you take out the trash, so women feel that
it’s an even trade.

3. “Nothing”
“Nothing” means something and you should be on your
toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the
feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out,
upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually
signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes”
and end with the word “Fine.”

4. “Go Ahead” (with raised eyebrows)
This is NOT permission; it’s a dare! If you mistake it
for permission, the result will be that the woman will
get upset over “Nothing” and you’ll have a
“five-minute” discussion that will end with the word
“Fine.”

5. “Go Ahead” (normal eyebrows)
this is NOT permission, either. It means “I give up”
or “do what you want because I don’t care.” You will
get a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead” in just a few minutes,
followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to
you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.

6. “Loud Sigh”
This is not actually a word, but is still often a
verbal statement very frequently misunderstood by men.
A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are a complete
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing
here and arguing with you over “Nothing.”

7. “Soft Sigh”
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft
Sighs” are one of the few things that some men
actually understand. It means she is momentarily
content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in
the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.

8. “Oh”
This word — followed by any statement — is
trouble. Example; “Oh, let me get that”. Or, “Oh, I
talked to him about what you were doing last night.”
If she says “Oh” before a statement, run, do not walk,
to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is
“Fine” when she is done tossing your clothes out the
window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at
least two days. (”Oh” as the lead to a sentence
usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not
try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get a
raised eyebrows “Go ahead”, sometimes followed by acts
so unspeakable that I can’t bring myself to write
about them.)

9. “That’s Okay”
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a
woman can say to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she
wants to think long and hard before decided what the
penalty will be for whatever you have done. “That’s
Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and in
conjunction with a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead”. Once
she has had time to plan it out, you are in for some
mighty big trouble.

10. “Please Do”
This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is
giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for
what you have done. In other words, a chance to get
yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this
correctly, you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay.”

11. “Thanks”
The woman is thanking you. Don’t faint and don’t look
for hidden meaning. Just say “you’re welcome.”

12. “Thanks A Lot”
“Thanks A Lot” is dramatically different from
“Thanks.” A woman will say “Thanks A Lot” when she is
really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by
the “Loud Sigh.” This signifies that you have hurt her
in some callous way. Be careful not to ask what is
wrong after the “Loud Sigh,” as she will only tell you
“Nothing.”
 
Joined
May 2, 2006
Professional Status
Certified Residential Appraiser
State
Ohio
Doug,

You have posted a good dictionary. The problem of men and women is really that of the simple vs. the complex. In general, men are simple-minded worker bees that build things, blow things up, drink, f**t and try to get women. Remember, Einstein, one of humanity's greatest minds, tried to figure women out, gave up and made an atom bomb instead (gets back to men blowing stuff up). The same can be said of all the great male minds in history.

Women are just too complex to try to figure out. Trying to ponder it will only shorten your life span. Just grab a beer, answer "yes dear" to any question a woman asks and leave your wallet open and on the table next to your gal.
 
Last edited:

Tom Woolford

Elite Member
Gold Supporting Member
Joined
Nov 20, 2005
Professional Status
Certified Residential Appraiser
State
Florida
Doug,
Just grab a beer, answer "yes dear" to any question a woman asks and leave your wallet open and on the table next to your gal.


Please note that this also applies AFTER the divorce. m2:
 
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