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New Twist On Appraisal Request

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Jeff Horton

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 15, 2002
Professional Status
Certified Residential Appraiser
State
Alabama
We have all seen these but I like the way this one was worded.

Please make a in-house pre inspection report prior to the field inspection to determine if the value requested is reasonable. If in you opinion the subject property will not appraise for the requested amount. Please do not make the final inspection. The borrower wishes to Refinance this home.

Some of you creative people help me craft a similarly worded responce to this ...... well ...... (Can't say that either) .... loan officer
 

Tim Hicks (Texas)

Elite Member
Joined
Jan 15, 2002
Professional Status
Certified Residential Appraiser
State
Texas
Please make a pre-payment full fee to cover my time assessment for appraisal procurement. Upon receiving full payment for this appraisal request, the best I can do is inspect the property by measuring the back of the home first in a counter clockwise direction, entering through the back door, completing the appraisal assigment and delivering the report in reverse order from last page to first page. We will make every attempt possible to finish the report before we start and arrive at a value in reverse. There is a slight fee increase for this procedure. My Put the Cart before the Horse fee is $650. The appraiser wishes to get paid for their work and does not work for free, unless paid in advance.
 

Mountain Man

Elite Member
Joined
Jan 15, 2002
Professional Status
Certified General Appraiser
State
Georgia
Ooooh, That's good..... :D They are trying soooo hard to alter USPAP with silver tongue language. :rolleyes:
 

Tim Hicks (Texas)

Elite Member
Joined
Jan 15, 2002
Professional Status
Certified Residential Appraiser
State
Texas
or....You have us confused with Madame Olaff on boardwalk street. Her crystal ball has better reception and does not have USPAP to restrict her fortune telling. Please visit her back alley store at zzz S Main and let us know her results. Once she has determined her value, make sure she includes her license and resume with her report.
 

Jeff Horton

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 15, 2002
Professional Status
Certified Residential Appraiser
State
Alabama
Good one Tim!

I even thought about doing an a in-house pre inspection report based on the parameters given. Since all I know is the location and that prices vary greatly, then my search parameters are the city limits. OK sales range from 10K to 1.5 Million. So yea the price is conceivable based on the given parameters. Now I proceed with the real appraisal. :rofl:

And BTW I doubt it will hit the owners opinion of value. Of course the a in-house pre inspection report indicates it's possible! :mrgreen:
 

Mike Garrett RAA

Elite Member
Gold Supporting Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2002
Professional Status
Certified Residential Appraiser
State
Colorado
My reply is quite simple...."No freakin way!"
 
Joined
Jan 13, 2002
Professional Status
Retired Appraiser
State
Florida
:rofl:

I'm usually too tired to bother playing with the idiots. Had a phone call like that today and I simply told him, "I'm aware that there are appraisers that work illegally, but I'm not one of them. If you send the money up front, I'll call you and tell you what the value is and that the real appraisal report is on it's way to you."

Oops, he called the wrong number. :twisted:

Now if you do want to get creative, I like Tim's answers and I'm really looking forward to what Bobby Bucks has to say.
 

Tim Hicks (Texas)

Elite Member
Joined
Jan 15, 2002
Professional Status
Certified Residential Appraiser
State
Texas
I tweaked it a little and gave my first response a little polish. whaddya think?
 

Rich Hahn

Senior Member
Joined
May 2, 2003
Professional Status
General Public
State
Colorado
Great Idea!

A request like that requires an appraiser to be on retainer.

My current retainer fee is $1,000 I will refund any unused portion thereof.

Sincerely

Rich Hahn Esquire
Appraiser at Large.

PS. Dont forget to charge for fax paper, phone conversations(per minute), postage, copies, miles driven, conversations with builders and builders sales dept, conversations with homeowners, MLS time per request, cell phone time, etc.
 

Blue1

Elite Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2002
Professional Status
Certified Residential Appraiser
State
California
Here's another response:

We are in receipt of your "In-House Pre-Inspection Report" request. We regret that we are not able to process your request at this time due to a failure in the Klysron Tube of our Model 80 Time Machine which allows us to actually complete an assigment, then go back in time and provide a pre-inspection value. Just as soon as our time machine is up an running, we'll call you.

P.S. Don't call us, we'll call you. :allcolors:
 
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