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The miracle of toilet paper

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Hamlet

Thread Starter
Elite Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2006
Professional Status
Certified Residential Appraiser
State
Ohio
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my
husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling
me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
“If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet
paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.” Willing to try anything,
I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it
between my breasts.
“How long will this take?” I asked.
“They will grow larger over a period of years,” my husband replies.
I stopped. “Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my
breasts every day will make them larger over the years?”
Without missing a beat he says “Worked for your butt, didn’t it?”
He’s still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again.
Stupid, stupid man.
 

Viking

Junior Member
Joined
Nov 18, 2006
Professional Status
Certified Residential Appraiser
State
Minnesota
Why do I think that the comment by the husband could only happen in a joke? :laugh:
 

Susan Klimaszewski

Junior Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2003
Professional Status
Licensed Appraiser
State
Texas
This reminds me of something my husband said to me shortly after Halloween. I'm sure that had it not cracked me up first, I would have killed him.

My husband loves Pixie Stixs... straws with powered candy inside... and you really can only get them around here at Halloween. He bought himself a big bad and told our son to stay out of them.

As days passed and he'd eat them, he'd lay the orange ones to the side uneaten. As the orange ones piled up, our son finally asked if he could have an orange one since they weren't being eaten. His dad explained to him that "No, you can't have the orange ones because they are being saved to be sprinkled over peanut butter sandwiches." (The man is strange, what can I say."

Our son kept pestering him about sharing and my husband finally said, "Well you can have ONE of the green ones, but it will make you fat!" So the kid says "That must be what happend to you, you ate one." (Both of these two are as skinny as a rail.)

This is where I made my mistake. I piped into the conversation and said "That must be what happened to me, too." My husband with an absolutely straight face said "No, you ate TWO of them."
 

Mike Kennedy

Elite Member
Joined
Sep 28, 2003
Professional Status
Certified Residential Appraiser
State
New York
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my
husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling
me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
“If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet
paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.”

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. “How long will this take?” I asked. “They will grow larger over a period of years,” my husband replies.
I stopped.

“Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my
breasts every day will make them larger over the years?”

Without missing a beat he says “Worked for your butt, didn’t it?”
He’s still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again.
Stupid, stupid man.


:rof: :rof: :rof:
 
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