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My brother has to take traffic school

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by CANative, Aug 30, 2009.

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  1. CANative

    CANative Elite Member

    Jun 18, 2003
    Professional Status:
    Certified Residential Appraiser
    He was supposed to start helping me out with the biz but didn't show up this morning and just sent me an email with the excuse that he has to finish his online traffic school (third ticket in a year).

    Yeah...right. Okay.

    But he did send me funny stuff so I'm not as mad as I might be.

    Subject: Traffic School
    Courtesy of Jerry Depoyster

    The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (read Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)

    Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?

    A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

    Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the

    same time?

    A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying,

    "Guns don't kill people. I do."

    Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?

    A: Always wear a condom.

    Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?

    A: Your car.

    Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?

    A: Be too ____-faced to find your keys.

    Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

    A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

    Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer

    drive lawfully?

    A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

    Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?

    A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

    Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a

    flashing yellow traffic light?

    A: The color.

    Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?

    A: Heavy psychedelics.

    Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?

    A: Carry loaded weapons.
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