John David Biggers, R.i.p

[RICHARD D. FRANK]

John David Biggers, departed from amongst the living, on Tuesday, the 19th of December, 2017

 

[spittman]

Still using NCV into 2018. THANKS JD!! God bless you and your family.

 

[Non Sequitur]

My condolences.

 

[Fargo1]

This is sad news. My condolences to his family and friends. I really liked JD. He made every effort to make his appraisal software better than the others. He was always ready to help. I was always hoping he would come back to the forum with something new for us all. I quit using his software when he had to stop supporting it. But I still miss it.

Do you know how he died? I didn't think he was that old and I was not aware of any health issues.

 

[AidaBiggers]

This is sad news. My condolences to his family and friends. I really liked JD. He made every effort to make his appraisal software better than the others. He was always ready to help. I was always hoping he would come back to the forum with something new for us all. I quit using his software when he had to stop supporting it. But I still miss it.

Do you know how he died? I didn't think he was that old and I was not aware of any health issues.

Hello, I am Adrianna Biggers, John's 17 year old daughter. I made an account solely to reply to you.

My father was actually very physically unhealthy. He was actually told by doctors that the moment he had a heart attack he would die, unless he had surgery that we couldn't afford. That was likely part of the reason he killed himself.

But I want you to know; he was a good father, when I was younger he would take me everywhere, he was happy and caring and sweet... but he had issues. He had bipolar disorder and was left untreated. It didn't get bad until his health issues were more prominent and when he started getting old. As most mental illnesses do, they get worse as you age.

Please hear me out, I loved him. I still love him. I just wanted him to get better, to realize he needed to own up to things he had done, to get help mentally. I convinced my mom to move out, so she could get healthy too (trust me, they had fighting matches over the smallest things almost every day and they both were not mentally sound). After awhile they agreed to get a divorce. Thats when I encouraged my mom to start talking to other people, and dad was "taking medication and going to doctors". It's not that I don't believe he did, I just can't trust what he says. (I have found out a lot of things from himself and others overtime that he had lied to me about at a young age.) When they finally decided to get divorce papers and whatever goes along with all that, they day they were supposed to meet for that, he threatened suicide and then admitted himself to the hospital. Mom at this point knew he wouldn't cooperate, I did too.

When he died, he spent the hours before with my brother. I was at work. I received a text message from him 30 minuets after he dropped my brother off at home. It said, "I love you... This is your mom's fault.... I wish I didn't loose you... I felt like I lost you years ago... goodbye." I was not the only one he texted, he messaged my brother, my grandparents, his parents, and our friend Stinger. We have no clue what he said to my brother before he dropped him off, but now my brother is on medication.
Now, in the case of my mom, instead of texting her, he called her. Over the phone, my dad's last words were, "I hope you hear this sound every time you **** another man." and that is when he died.

I miss him, I do, I still love him, but I will never forgive him for what he did to my mom. I will never forgive him for how little compassion he showed when I was in the hospital for attempted suicide. I will not forgive him for what he did. He told me he knew things he did weren't always right. But I still love him, he gave me a childhood, he brought me into this world, and there was good in him. I just think he lost touch and knew we wouldn't let him get away with being an ******* anymore.

I wish he was back, I wish he could still walk me down the isle when I get married.

I wish I had seen that text message earlier.

I wish I had told him I loved him that day.

But I can't.

 

[Fargo1]

Hi Aida, thank you for sharing. I am sorry for your loss. I can feel your love for your dad and the pain that is left in your heart. I know my words might sound hollow, but I want you to know that Jesus loves you. I know that phrase gets thrown around too easily sometimes and it may sound cliche. But it is true. I don't know where your faith is, but I can see that you are still hurting. I know that the only way you will fully heal is by placing your trust in Jesus and letting him heal your broken heart. There is great healing when we accept Christ's love and forgiveness. With Christ's love, in time, you will also forgive your dad. I understand right now it hurts too much to forgive him. Thats OK. Your dad expressed that he loved you, hang on to that. And know that Jesus loves you too. Jesus will never cause you that kind of pain. He will bring healing. I will pray for you tonight, that the Lord will draw you to him and that you will accept the gift of salvation that he offers so that he may begin your healing.

 

[residentialguy]

Hi Aida,
Wow...I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't even imagine what you're going through. But one thing I do know is that it NOT your fault. He was ill and that was the cause of this. All of these things you're feeling..guilt, fear, blame, anger, regret, shame, etc, are common. We would all feel like that if that happened to any of us here. You need to lean on your friends and your counselor. If you don't have a church, go to one and talk to the Pastor or one of their counselors. Please do not get sucked into online forums, as they will probably make matters worse...including this forum.
Again...please, don't try to carry this on your own. You and your family are in my prayers.

 

[Fargo1]

Hi Aida,
Wow...I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't even imagine what you're going through. But one thing I do know it that it NOT your fault. All of these things you're feeling..guilt, fear, blame, anger, regret, shame, etc, are common. We would all feel like that if that happened to any of us here. You need to lean on your friends and your counselor. If you don't have a church, go to one and talk to the Pastor or one of their counselors. Please do not get sucked into online forums, as they will probably make matters worse...including this forum. Please, don't try to carry this on your own.

Aida, this is good advice. Find a good church and talked with real people who care. Don't carry this on your own.

 

[George Hatch]

My wife's ex committed suicide many years ago, and left videos to his kids, who were 15 and 19 at the time. We had a psychologist friend who had an office a couple doors down from mine at the time so I had her screen the vids - with us. She pointed out that - although he *told* them not to blame themselves that was still his intent, and that he was still doing it in a manner that was an act of aggression towards them. Her advice was to not let the kids view the vids. So we sent them to the ex's parents to hold for if/when his kids wanted to view them. They're both in their 30s now and have yet to ask about seeing them. I hope they never do.

So while I hope you understand that while we all liked your dad for his efforts on the software and his interactions with us, none of that touches whatever else he was doing in his life. I can like his software and his technical skills and disapprove of this sort of alleged conduct at the same time.

From your comments I hope you seek support in addition to and beyond the confines of your own extended family. It's always those who are left behind who experience the loss the most.

 

[Terrel L. Shields]

Honey, that is heartbreaking to read. But he would not be unique in suffering from things he couldn't control. BP disease makes people do strange things. My prayers go out for you and your family. We appreciated what he did for us. Try to dwell on the good and forgive (you can't really forget) the past. Don't live in that past, go forward, and by all means seek counseling, pastors, teachers, others. They can't fix anything but they can listen. And you need to let it out now. Holding it in will eat you alive.