Only appraisers have confidentiality. Lenders can do whatever, whenever. The appraisal is their property, not anyone elses. Why do they need 2 appraisals if you both use the same comps. It would be cheaper to do a review, and just agree to the value being correct. This is why i never get involved with 2 appraisals on the same property. And the more complex, the more the differences. When i did them however, i asked the lender to send the other appraisal, saved me a lot of time asking why is that different. I never wanted to be the first one to go in anyway. Direct lenders who i was friendly with.