The names have been changed to protect the innocent

[PropertyEconomics]

Sorry some of you never had a bad day and live such perfect lives. You are all entitled to your opinions and I am sure some will agree and some will not. I know for fact that many would have taken this alot ofurther than I did under the circumstances. Plus reading a post on the internet always leaves room for enterpretation, which might or not be how it was originally written.

Yes, I am sure it could have been handled many different ways. The emails are only half of the story. The abusive phone calls and the foul language to me and my wife which are not posted are another.

The point was that I was not going to be bullied like many appraisers are. I stand by everything I have done. I never said I wouldn't complete the assignemnt. I just wasn't about to do it COD like many others. Howdever, no way in the world was I going to settle for a lesser fee and not be paid up front, especially with this guy who already flat out lied several times to both myself and my wife and I will not tolerate that..you may. That is your right, just like you have an opinion.

But thank you for sharing. We can all learn from any situation and next I will probably handle it different...but no promises. Sorry again for being less than perfect.

Frank .. your client was smart enough to do it over the phone and be cordial in writing. The written word is a powerful thing as it can be shared with others. Spoken words cannot be shared, only repeated. I trust you understand my drift here.
I have learned though the years that if I get upset and my immediate response is to blast someone, I simply put off writing the email for an hour or a day to a time when I can think logically and not emotionally.
Now had you written him a very nice professional email and then invited him outback for the way he treated your wife ... that would have been a different story ... but the written word is very powerful and you need to be more careful of what you write in the future.
WE are professionals whether they are or not.

 

[Kevin Mc]

Way too much emotion involved. Need to keep replies short, clinical and to the point.

My bold...I agree 100% but something tells me there is much more to the story especially in light of the fact that the guy was crude to Frank's wife. I also try to keep it very clinical and to the point but that does not negate the fact that I have called more than one MB a scumbag on more than one occasion.:icon_mrgreen:

 

[George Hatch]

I vote with PE on this one. Yoiu probably already know everything I'm going to say so this time I'll just skip it.

 

[J in Florida]

I have in the past told mortgage brokers to "go have sex with themselves" when and only when the crossed so far beyond the line that's it had become completely rediculous. Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and not be pushed around. Bullies will only see politeness as weakness to be exploited. They will not appreciate the professional manner it was handled. There are certain lines you do not cross, and stiffing the appraiser and cursing the staff are lines you do not cross.

If anyone has better suggestions how to handle this it will be a big help.

 

[Let me be Frank]

PropertyEconomics beat me to the punch. As I read through the thread I was thinking how I would have handled this situation. Unless something "beneath the surface" is involved I think the whole email string was unprofessional on both sides. Way too much emotion involved. Need to keep replies short, clinical and to the point.

I would be scared to death of having this email string go to my state board. Way too much 'spaining to do.

DJ, thank you for your words of wisdom. Hind sight is a wonderful thing and what you are saying about being handled more professionally is true.

This guy was just another of many trying not to pay for the original appraisal per our agreement. His stories about why he didn't mail the original check and ran out of checks and had a pre-written check proved his character. He was upset that I made him drive down and bring us cash in order for me to release his report. I am sure he was not happy about that but that is not my concern.

It was never a queston of not looking after the consumer for who the appraisal was for originally like someone eluded to. I completed my original assignment in a timely manner. As far as accepting another assignment from this guy, he obviously didn't want to pay our fees and wanted me to settle. That along with his words to both myself and my wife did create a clandestine emotion which was definately clear from that point onward. My bad and youa re correct. Thank you!

 

[Let me be Frank]

Frank .. your client was smart enough to do it over the phone and be cordial in writing. The written word is a powerful thing as it can be shared with others. Spoken words cannot be shared, only repeated. I trust you understand my drift here.
I have learned though the years that if I get upset and my immediate response is to blast someone, I simply put off writing the email for an hour or a day to a time when I can think logically and not emotionally.
Now had you written him a very nice professional email and then invited him outback for the way he treated your wife ... that would have been a different story ... but the written word is very powerful and you need to be more careful of what you write in the future.
WE are professionals whether they are or not.

I agree but there is nothing I put in writing I will not stand behind. Now the first 2 emails that I wrote and erased (just to vent) you would of had a field day with...*laughing*

Like I said, there was much more emotion involved and it definately could have been handled better on my part by just not accpeting the additonal assignment (knowing the ype of individual I was dealing with).

Thank you all for your constructive criticisms. Points taken. We are professionals but...we are HUMANS as well (this is only my 2nd mistake I have made in life. The first was thinking I was wrong once)...it's a joke, it's a joke, OK?

 

[Ken B]

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[PropertyEconomics]

I have in the past told mortgage brokers to "go have sex with themselves" when and only when the crossed so far beyond the line that's it had become completely rediculous. Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and not be pushed around. Bullies will only see politeness as weakness to be exploited. They will not appreciate the professional manner it was handled. There are certain lines you do not cross, and stiffing the appraiser and cursing the staff are lines you do not cross.

If anyone has better suggestions how to handle this it will be a big help.

I dont really care if they appreciate the polite manner in which things are handled .. I appreciate how I handle things. That is the point. Im not crawling down in the sewer with them. It serves no purpose.
This is posted in the Improving The Profession segment of the forum.
Mind you there is nothing we can do about the professionalism of others ... we can only control our own. I want to improve my profession and theirs will have to do the same. I personally know many professional MBs that are as ethical as the day is long and they are embarassed by those in their profession that call themselves MBs.
With those clients that I simply dont want to work with I do one of two things, I either quote the job too high (if Im going to work for them Im going to get paid for the babysitting) or I quote it out too far and tell them I hope I can help you next time. There is never a reason, in my mind, to tell a client to go have sex with themselves.
We also have a rule in our office, the phone is always hung up before we start to yell. Its not bad yelling out but its bad to let the client hear it. Its all about emotions and keeping them in check in front of your client.
If they go on a profanity laden tirade, I simply stop talking and listen, never saying a word. Soon they will say are you still there, I will say yes I wasnt sure you were finished yet. If they go off again, I become silent again. It works .. just try it.
And above all, never respond to a review, a request, or a complaint when you are emotionally upset. Postpone your response until such time as you can think clearly and professionally. It will do wonders for how you feel about yourself and your business.

And Frank, trust me I understand your frustration, but in time you will feel much better standing on the curb rather than going into the sewer with them.

And finally Frank let me share one more thing with you. Your wife, from your description, is a lovely person. My wife is the same and I have to tell you, the best thing I have ever done in my life is let her teach me about grey. Not all is black and white. Others have bad days too and I must make allowances for their behavior. I have learned from my wife that the fun of life lies in the grey and that is where we can shine if we only will. Its so bad that I can be apart from her, in a stressful situation, and I will hear her telling me to be quiet, listen, and act appropriately. Ahhh learning the greys has been a great asset for me and I hope it becomes so for you.

Best of luck to you all.

 

[Let me be Frank]

And Frank, trust me I understand your frustration, but in time you will feel much better standing on the curb rather than going into the sewer with them.

Great words, the best contribution yet. Thank you!

One thing I have noticed here is some npeople are quick to criticize and go on personal attacks, which in my opinion are just more of the problem. This is a great solution to many problems and I thank you!

Enough with this thread. Let's all go play in someone elses sand pit for a while.

~GONE~

 

[Let me be Frank]

One more thing, thank you all for playing. It has gotten my post count up and off the bottom (out of the gutter so to speak..*smile*)

~GONE~