Bobby Bucks
Elite Member
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2002
- Professional Status
- Real Estate Agent or Broker
- State
- North Dakota
Well, it was supposed to be a nice day at the ranch this past Monday as far as Mondays go....after
a weekend packed with nonstop entertainment my intent was to wake up around noon if the mood
hit me....of course that never happened.....around 9:00 AM I heard a horn honk, a door bell ring
and the low rumble of a diesel engine..... not necessarily in that order. I peeked out the window
and lo and behold there was Boom Boom Bonnie, local battle axe real estate queen in her solid
gold Mercedes. From the frown on her face I could tell it was not a social call. I answered the
door and Bonnie skipped the good mornings and pleasantries and said “Bucks, you’ve done it this
time, and I’m not going to take it.” Before I get into the what’s and wherefores, allow me to give
you a little background on Bonnie. Boom Boom is a name no one uses to Bonnie’s face and lives
to tell about it. She could have been a pulling guard for Tom Osborne and the Cornhuskers. She is
the epitomy of your war horse, battle axe, take no prisoners R E Agent. She grosses about 70 K a
year and spends about 50 K of that to advertise to the whole town that she’s making a fortune
peddling houses. Her face is all over 3 counties. She hates me because I’m a fishing buddy of her
landlord and am a bar pal with the guy who leases her the Mercedes. She hates my guts for
knowing this.
Bonnie has one of those beehive hairdos that went out of style during the Nixon
days, only Bonnie is big on tradition. In the last 40 years she hasn’t changed the picture she uses
in the newspaper, signs or business cards...I’ll bet you’ve never met one of those, have you? Now
before you go calling Bucks a sexist pig, keep in mind I can be just as hateful when criticizing
males I dislike, only Bonnie happens to be female....well almost. Anyway, the reason for Bonnie’s
visit was that she took her first listing ever of an REO.....My value was $90 K and Bonnie did a
BPO for 138 K and the megga bank raked her through the coals about it. Maybe because you can
buy a new house just like it for 130 K that has flooring, a heating system, a hot water heater and
the kitchen cabinets.....Isn’t it amazing what people can carry with them when they leave? She
was calling me names I’d never heard before. Then she started trashing ole Gus who is a broker
who used to get 90% of the REO listings for years and does a good job. Apparently Gus has a full
plate. I began trying to explain that REO’s are a little different than red ribbon row houses but
Bonnie wouldn’t hear of it. She screamed out “I’ve been a Real-i-tore for 30 years and an agent
for 40. She couldn’t account for the 10 year gap. I told her that I’d been an appraise-ore for only
about a third as long as she had been a Real-i-tore, but that I had been a broker since my Junior
year of college. Bonnie brustled at that. One thing I’ve always wondered about is where those
extra syllables come from in real-i-ty and real-i-tore. I asked Bonnie of she had read the REO
addendum when they gave her a copy of the report and she said “Don’t you start off on all those
things......I could get me an REO if I wanted to, in fact I might get one at my next update course.
Our broker in charge has one and she also has a GRA and GRS and I’ll bet you don’t have any
those do you?” “No Bonnie, and I don’t have an STD either.” Bonnie glared again and decided
she was getting nowhere......she waddled back into that Mercedes and left in a hurry. Somehow, I
don’t think this is the end of the story. Bonnie still hasn’t put a sign on that property and I haven’t
heard back from the megga bank who owns it. Maybe Bonnie’s in continuing ed getting that
REO.
The Bucks Ranch Rocks
a weekend packed with nonstop entertainment my intent was to wake up around noon if the mood
hit me....of course that never happened.....around 9:00 AM I heard a horn honk, a door bell ring
and the low rumble of a diesel engine..... not necessarily in that order. I peeked out the window
and lo and behold there was Boom Boom Bonnie, local battle axe real estate queen in her solid
gold Mercedes. From the frown on her face I could tell it was not a social call. I answered the
door and Bonnie skipped the good mornings and pleasantries and said “Bucks, you’ve done it this
time, and I’m not going to take it.” Before I get into the what’s and wherefores, allow me to give
you a little background on Bonnie. Boom Boom is a name no one uses to Bonnie’s face and lives
to tell about it. She could have been a pulling guard for Tom Osborne and the Cornhuskers. She is
the epitomy of your war horse, battle axe, take no prisoners R E Agent. She grosses about 70 K a
year and spends about 50 K of that to advertise to the whole town that she’s making a fortune
peddling houses. Her face is all over 3 counties. She hates me because I’m a fishing buddy of her
landlord and am a bar pal with the guy who leases her the Mercedes. She hates my guts for
knowing this.
Bonnie has one of those beehive hairdos that went out of style during the Nixondays, only Bonnie is big on tradition. In the last 40 years she hasn’t changed the picture she uses
in the newspaper, signs or business cards...I’ll bet you’ve never met one of those, have you? Now
before you go calling Bucks a sexist pig, keep in mind I can be just as hateful when criticizing
males I dislike, only Bonnie happens to be female....well almost. Anyway, the reason for Bonnie’s
visit was that she took her first listing ever of an REO.....My value was $90 K and Bonnie did a
BPO for 138 K and the megga bank raked her through the coals about it. Maybe because you can
buy a new house just like it for 130 K that has flooring, a heating system, a hot water heater and
the kitchen cabinets.....Isn’t it amazing what people can carry with them when they leave? She
was calling me names I’d never heard before. Then she started trashing ole Gus who is a broker
who used to get 90% of the REO listings for years and does a good job. Apparently Gus has a full
plate. I began trying to explain that REO’s are a little different than red ribbon row houses but
Bonnie wouldn’t hear of it. She screamed out “I’ve been a Real-i-tore for 30 years and an agent
for 40. She couldn’t account for the 10 year gap. I told her that I’d been an appraise-ore for only
about a third as long as she had been a Real-i-tore, but that I had been a broker since my Junior
year of college. Bonnie brustled at that. One thing I’ve always wondered about is where those
extra syllables come from in real-i-ty and real-i-tore. I asked Bonnie of she had read the REO
addendum when they gave her a copy of the report and she said “Don’t you start off on all those
things......I could get me an REO if I wanted to, in fact I might get one at my next update course.
Our broker in charge has one and she also has a GRA and GRS and I’ll bet you don’t have any
those do you?” “No Bonnie, and I don’t have an STD either.” Bonnie glared again and decided
she was getting nowhere......she waddled back into that Mercedes and left in a hurry. Somehow, I
don’t think this is the end of the story. Bonnie still hasn’t put a sign on that property and I haven’t
heard back from the megga bank who owns it. Maybe Bonnie’s in continuing ed getting that
REO.
The Bucks Ranch Rocks
! Now that is what I call repossed. Ended up doing a land appraisal report for a 33' x 85' in town lot with a value in the low 1000's.