• Welcome to AppraisersForum.com, the premier online  community for the discussion of real estate appraisal. Register a free account to be able to post and unlock additional forums and features.

Underwriters Has Their Day

Status
Not open for further replies.

Mike McBeth

Freshman Member
Joined
Jan 26, 2003
Professional Status
Certified Residential Appraiser
State
Oregon
This was from Appraisal Buss News Leter

Appraisal Buzz Newsletter -- May 5, 2003

Appraisers Say The Darndest Things!

By Barry Bates

For the past few months, as I looked over countless appraisals, I saved some of the jewels that make a reviewer's life worthwhile. I'm hoping somebody will pick up these ACTUAL APPRAISAL COMMENTS and start an anthology somewhere. Maybe we could all deposit them to a forum online or something. I have added my own snide remark to each one. Have fun! (And don't tell my boss I was doing this on company time!!)

Streetlights: Dusk to Dawn
[When the vampires come out!]

Streetlights: Electric
[I hear they're starting to phase out gas lamps!]

There is a shortage in the supply and demand.
[At least there isn't an oversupply in the demand and supply.]

Be careful of this value, I believe the lady is going to clean out her husband secretely [sic].
[Sir, yes, sir!! I will guard it with my life! What kind of tools will she be using?]

The reason the house is in such immaculate condition is that the owners are German Baptists.
[Unlike those dirty Austrian Congregationalists next door!]

Subject is close to shopping, services and houses of whorship [sic].
[Which is convenient, because it's also next door to an Air Force Base.]

The appraiser is not aware of the existence of radon gas.
[Nor is radon gas aware of the existence of the appraiser.]

Can be rebuilt if involuntarily destroyed.
[DARN those stubborn houses!]

Apparent Easements: In Gross
[No egress hunting, either!]

The populous has the financial and economic desire to absorb competitive offerings.
[A populous is a cross between a porpoise and a puppy.]

The comparables were marketed to the effect of these transactions but are not currently offered for sale.
[This one makes my head hurt.]

THE BACK YARD GRASS IS SOMEWHAT SPACE.
[But is it really? Or does one merely get spacey when one smokes it?]

Subject is located on a busy street, however, unit is located inside.
[Sorry, I'm looking for an outside unit in the hallway.]

Please note appraiser's environmental limitations.
[And quit focusing on the ones he was born with?]

Interior decorum is average.
[Outdoors, it's a little better, but every once in a while, little Willie still sticks bread up his nose.]

THE OPINION OF VALUE IN THIS REPORT HAS BEEN GATHERED FROM LOCAL BUILDERS.
[It's a good thing he didn't try to come up with one himself.]

Topography: Moderate Slope to the Stereo
[So you can get to it quicker when you want to change CDs...?]

Items of personality were not included in the overall value of the subject property.
[Now I know what they meant when they said that an appraiser was just someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.]

Existing/Proposed: YES
["MAYBE" would have been so much more mysterious.]

Street: PUBIC
[Driving on it gets a little hairy.]

Driveway: CRUSHED STONE
[In California, we call that "gravel".]

Land use is applied to subject area.
[Topically, 3 times a day before meals.]

There are no known or observed environmental conditions.
[Property is located at the event horizon of a black hole.]

There are no adverse conditions that should affect the value of the marketability.
[But appraiser IQ may affect the marketability of the value.]

Street Lights: Above Ground
[But the light is so much more subtle when they're buried about 6 feet under....]

The subject has lake view and is located in a lake community that has a community lake.
[Yeah, but is there a lake?]

No environmental conditions noted which is an extraordinary assumption.
[Thousands of Buddhist monks have gone insane trying to figure this one out.]

SEE PLAT MAP FOR DEMENTIONS
[No, I already get those from my kids...]

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
 

Carnivore

Elite Member
Supporting Member
Joined
Jan 15, 2002
Professional Status
Certified Residential Appraiser
State
North Carolina
Cool Mike, I just love it. Spelling errors, omissions, incompetence.

Darn good thing they hit the number!

Imagine how good the report could have been if the AMC had not pressured the dimwit into getting it done in 24 hours from inspection.

Still, got he got that number and isn't that what its all about?

I wonder if Bates has ever put any of these ninnies on a DONOT USE LIST!

Wait, what am I saying, getting the number is more important.

From now on, an underwriter request has to be in writing or I am not changing a thing.
 

Bob Stainbrook

Sophomore Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2003
You forgot the 69 telephone calls & faxes & e-mails for a status report within that 24 hr. period from the AMC placing the order. You don't have anything else to do anyway, right ?
 
L

Linda Lynch

Guest
Oh gosh those really WERE funny. I laughed til by stomach hurts. Now how can I share with this person some of the really funny ones I about underwriters and their reviewers?
 

Atlanta CG

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 15, 2002
Professional Status
Certified General Appraiser
State
Georgia
Mike: Many historic communities in Atlanta and Boston have gas lamps. Beacon Hill is full of them.
 

Ron in AR

Sophomore Member
Joined
Jan 16, 2002
Professional Status
Certified Residential Appraiser
State
Arkansas
Very funny. Very witty. Thanks for those.
 

Carnivore

Elite Member
Supporting Member
Joined
Jan 15, 2002
Professional Status
Certified Residential Appraiser
State
North Carolina
Originally posted by John from Atlanta@May 8 2003, 07:23 AM
Mike: Many historic communities in Atlanta and Boston have gas lamps. Beacon Hill is full of them.
John,

Your so right about that. Charlotte has quite a few gas lamp post, and getting more monthly.
Plus, these lamps are Burning 24/7. ( Very expensive).

Currently a big debate is taking place in Charlotte on buried electric utilities versus the above ground type. this all happended since the last major ice storm.

Lately, on new construction, driveways have not been paved but merely left with the crushed stone base. Why, I guess they ran out of money. They should have just planned for a gravel drive.

Lately, our city zoning guys are allowing repairs/remodeling or expansion to non-conforming use as long as this was a planned event and not because of involuntarily destruction like fire, or hurricane etc, etc.


I could go on but my point is made. Interesting how things taken out of context always sound so funny or different.
 

Ghost Rider

Senior Member
Joined
Apr 27, 2003
Professional Status
Banking/Mortgage Industry
State
Connecticut
My Favorite was doing a field review of one, where among the additional features were

"a large party dick in the rear for entertainint" :eek:

I didn't really comment on it in the review, just mentioned that there were a multitude of spelling errors throughout the report.
 

Tater Salad

Member
Joined
Jan 15, 2002
Professional Status
Certified Residential Appraiser
State
Missouri
Are you sure it was a typo? I've read some posts about straaaange things people have in their homes. :blink:
 

Richard Carlsen

Elite Member
Joined
Jan 15, 2002
Professional Status
Licensed Appraiser
State
Michigan
Priceless Mike....Thanks.

There is many a slip between what one means to say and what comes off the keyboard.

There are also the examples of people trying to use words they've heard but are not sure of how to pronounce nor spell. In other words, words considerably over their heads.

We've all been guilty of this from time to time. Hence the necessity for good spellcheck and a good proofing before printing the final copy.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Find a Real Estate Appraiser - Enter Zip Code

Copyright © 2000-, AppraisersForum.com, All Rights Reserved
AppraisersForum.com is proudly hosted by the folks at
AppraiserSites.com
Top

AdBlock Detected

We get it, advertisements are annoying!

Sure, ad-blocking software does a great job at blocking ads, but it also blocks useful features of our website. For the best site experience please disable your AdBlocker.

I've Disabled AdBlock
No Thanks