There are multiple things to consider here. As for the 5 appraisers saying none could appraise your home, my initial thought was "says your lender".
It is possible that your lenders "guidelines" were so strict that none of the 5 appraisers could fit your round peg home into the lenders square hole. What I mean by that is your lender may have required the appraiser to include a sale within 1 mile of your home which had occured within the last 90 days in identical condition to your home and within 200 square feet of your gross living area. Based on those "requirements" or a myriad of other permutations, all 5 appraisers may very well have said "We can't do it" to which your lender now attributes as the appraisers not being able to appraise it.
It could have been all 5 appraisers are either not competent in your local market or not competent to appraise your type of home.
It could be the appraisal management company hired by your lender to "facilitate" the appraisal process works on the fast and cheap method and none of the 5 appraisers wanted to deal with the headache of losing a client because they wanted a higher fee to complete the assignment or an extended amount of time to complete said assignment, especially when they could probably churn out a few appraisals in the time necessary to complete yours.
Maybe all 5 appraisers did not want to take on any future liability in appraising your difficult home when there are mutitudes of others where that liability is substantially less, whether real or perceived.
Your opinion that the appraisers are lazy is somewhat faulty, as I'm sure if you agreed to pay a higher fee and your lender was willing to extend the amount of time necessary to complete the assignment, an appraiser could be found, although this additional fee and time does not necessarily correlate to a competent appraiser. Maybe the data is so limited and your market area is so unique that the vast majority of appraisers would avoid such assignments but for an adequate fee and time provided, any appraisal can be completed.
These are just a handful of reasons, there are many more. My suggestion to you is if you want the home financed, find a local lender that knows the difficultities associated with your market, attempt to determine if the appraiser hired has appraised within your specific market, prepare to pay whatever to get the appraisal done and understand that even after all of this, it may just not be possible to find financing as your home does not fit into that nice little lender box.