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You know you're getting old when

We had some friends over tonight and the drama queen wife face plants on my stout porcelein floors, freaking everybody out. At least the chicken was good. :censored:(n):cry:
 
she need a colonoscopy so she got one and two days later she developed a 104 fever..passed out and rushed to hospital..turn out they accidently puncture an intestine or something and it leaked into her blood stream and she developed sepsis and gang green and she was dead 3 days later on life support

My dad had a similar, but not fatal experience. He had his first and only colonoscopy at 67 and the doctor (a GP) punctured his intestines. Dad mentioned a significant build up of pressure in his chest cavity on our way home and I immediately turned around and took him back to the hospital. Fortunately we ran into a surgeon friend as we were about to enter the ER and he asked what was going on. After we explained he immediately requested a surgery room and staff, went in and resectioned his intestines and installed a temporary bag. The bag was removed about 4 months later. He passed away at 93 after spending 6+ years in a medical care due to losing the use of his legs as a result of having polio when he was in his late 20’s. Was never on any maintenance medicine and only say a dermatologist several times for skin cancer removal for the last 25+ years of his life.
 
Never heard of carnivore diet. Must be another fad diet.
Past week, been sleeping only 4 hours a week. Everyone needs at least 7 hours of sleep for good health.
I heard Trump sleeps less than 7 hours. Thus explains his erratic decision makings everyday.

No it's not a fad diet, lol it's an elimination diet like old timey people used to eat. As RFK Jr rightly says there is too much junk in our food I almost never eat anything from a can or frozen. No sugar, starch, any processed foods and very low carbs. You can eat anything that comes from an animal like all meats, cheese, eggs and cream. Some milk is ok too. Ketovore includes low carb veggies like asparagus, leafy greens, peppers and white onion. No carb tortillas make great vehicles for wraps, tortillas, quesadillas and tacos. Like someone else said 1,000mg fish oil, 10,000IU vit D (my score was very low) with 200 mcg K2, Magnesium Citrate, and (B6, Folate and sublingual B12) for my MTHFR gene mutation. At 55 I'm in excellent shape 6' 180lb (44 inch waist and gross to a 32 inch waist) endless energy and my chick couldn't be happier ;)
 
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Gump may need a colonoscopy but he needs to read my previous post so he knows in rare cases it can kill you. Lol
I never had a colonoscopy. Less invasive tests to check. I went to a physical last year (first time in a long time) and it wasn't much except for blood tests.
I go every year and check the results from my blood. As long as it's within the range, doctor says I'm fine.
When I ask that some of my test result are near low or high end, doctor says it's within range. No need to worry (go away until next time).
 
My dad had a similar, but not fatal experience. He had his first and only colonoscopy at 67 and the doctor (a GP) punctured his intestines. Dad mentioned a significant build up of pressure in his chest cavity on our way home and I immediately turned around and took him back to the hospital. Fortunately we ran into a surgeon friend as we were about to enter the ER and he asked what was going on. After we explained he immediately requested a surgery room and staff, went in and resectioned his intestines and installed a temporary bag. The bag was removed about 4 months later. He passed away at 93 after spending 6+ years in a medical care due to losing the use of his legs as a result of having polio when he was in his late 20’s. Was never on any maintenance medicine and only say a dermatologist several times for skin cancer removal for the last 25+ years of his life.
Years ago I had a small bump on my back. I didn't like the feel or the look, so I requested to remove the small cyst.
It was rather quick, cut out, dig out the cyst stuff, and sell back.
After that my back was in pain. When I lie in bed to sleep it hurt. Painful for few weeks.
Afterwards when it "healed", I looked at the scar and it was unsightly.
It looked terrible and hoped it goes back to normal.
Never did. When I go topless, my back looked like I had a large stab wound that never was stitched.
Learned my lesson not to do any more invasive treatments/surgery (not even Botox, Ugh).
 
My dad had a similar, but not fatal experience. He had his first and only colonoscopy at 67 and the doctor (a GP) punctured his intestines. Dad mentioned a significant build up of pressure in his chest cavity on our way home and I immediately turned around and took him back to the hospital. Fortunately we ran into a surgeon friend as we were about to enter the ER and he asked what was going on. After we explained he immediately requested a surgery room and staff, went in and resectioned his intestines and installed a temporary bag. The bag was removed about 4 months later. He passed away at 93 after spending 6+ years in a medical care due to losing the use of his legs as a result of having polio when he was in his late 20’s. Was never on any maintenance medicine and only say a dermatologist several times for skin cancer removal for the last 25+ years of his life.
He was a lucky man once sepsis and gangrene set in your usually a goner or the colostomy bag never is able to be removed for good. That's scary **** and few people are ever told their are some risks. I had two surgeons in my family and the joke is the one Uncle owned a mortuary and he would say I bury their mistakes...the surgeon's didn't think it was funny but I did.
 
He was a lucky man once sepsis and gangrene set in your usually a goner or the colostomy bag never is able to be removed for good. That's scary **** and few people are ever told their are some risks. I had two surgeons in my family and the joke is the one Uncle owned a mortuary and he would say I bury their mistakes...the surgeon's didn't think it was funny but I did.
Speaking of doctors. I don't want to stereotype but are Jewish doctors unfaithful?
My wife had lunch today with her doctor friend.
When my wife mentioned my daughter will be marrying a doctor, her nonJewish doc friend asked if he's Jewish.
He's not. She said that's good because from her experience those Jewish doctors from those Ivy colleges are unfaithful.
I never heard of that but relieved my future son-in-law is not Jewish.
 
Speaking of doctors. I don't want to stereotype but are Jewish doctors unfaithful?
My wife had lunch today with her doctor friend.
When my wife mentioned my daughter will be marrying a doctor, her nonJewish doc friend asked if he's Jewish.
He's not. She said that's good because from her experience those Jewish doctors from those Ivy colleges are unfaithful.
I never heard of that but relieved my future son-in-law is not Jewish.

Not sure if you are just an idiot or a flaming racist! However you often do a good job of proving both.

A quick bit of research reveals medical doctors in general have a lower divorce rate than the general population. However, among the profession shrinks have a divorce rate of nearly 50% while GP’s have a rate under 20%. Surgeons have a slightly higher divorce rate than GP’s as do female doctors.
 
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