"Fun" Ways of Saying the Subject Sucks

[Metamorphic]

For a neighborhood of shacks, crap lying all over the place and pigs roaming free:

"Neighborhood appears to tolerate unpermitted construction as well as private salvage operations, and free range animal husbandry".

GOLD!

 

[William K]

For a neighborhood of shacks, crap lying all over the place and pigs roaming free:

"Neighborhood appears to tolerate AND ACTIVELY ENCOURAGE unpermitted construction as well as private salvage operations, and free range animal husbandry".

MY RED

I would then add as next sentence

" Subject conforms to all neighborhood standards and buyer expectations!"

 

[Mountain Man]

What I've used before is... vandalizing of vacant units is a constant problem, excessive debris remains at the road side from past evictions, occupant do not maintain the lawns as vegetation is overgrown, and the area as a whole suffers from the lack of homeownership pride.

Some clients now days don't allow a statement about "a lack of homeownership pride". If so, just substitute with the many houses in the area show excessive deferred maintenance.

 

[Mike Garrett RAA]

Accurately described as a "POS"!

 

[JRS at OBX]

On interior inspection it has been determined that the livestock facility is being currently used as a single family residence, however, evidence remains of the livestock.

 

[Tim Schneider]

Or, just think like a realtor:

"Diamond in the rough"
"Handyman Special"
"Could use some TLC"
"Equity Builder"

 

[Terrel L. Shields]

in needing a Caterpillar D9

A D4 would do on a lot of ours. No use wasting a big Cat on 'em.

just think like a realtor

This house is eat up with character....and termites

So unique it will leave you speechless....and broke

Low Utility bills...services were cut off years ago

 

[J in Florida]

The subject is in close proximity to local independent pharmeceutical commerce centers.

 

[Caterina Platt]

The subject is in close proximity to local independent pharmeceutical commerce centers.

Unregulated entrepreneurial activity noted in residential only zoning.

We had a singlewide that had been built onto in the most redneck fashion:

'...evidence of amatuer quality improvements utilizing recycled materials.'

Reading one of my colleagues reports regarding the analysis of a sewer treatment plant adjacent to the property:

'Olfactory inspection of the property reveals a likely negative market response.'

 

[Richard Carlsen]

"Subject could not be bracketed in the sales grid for effective age (condition) due to the presence of significant deferred maintenance and lack of generally acceptable house keeping including dirt, dog dodo, cat urine smell, broken windows, stained and torn carpeting, evidence of roof leaking and water damage, holes in dry wall, non-workmanlike quality of repairs/remodeling in addition to numerous other items. The overall effect the subject's condition is reflected in the adjustment to the comps which is the estimated cost to cure, expressed as a negative value on the comps to equalize the condition of the subject and the comp. This is an appraisers best estimate since there is insufficient market data for an adjustment to a subject in this condition." ​

Of course the LO will come back and ask if I could market the subject "Average" on the grid. :blush: