Best Bribe Ever?

[Mr Rex]

Not appraisal related, but funny. I read meters for the electrical utility company for a few years after high school. I was working my away around some subsidized apartments and standing at a group of meters on the back of the apartments when I heard a lady in the apartment say "There's that light bill man, I wonder if I give him a shot of a** would he knock off any of my bill" About that time she realized that I could both see and hear her through the open window. I just smiled and shook my head, she grinned, reached up and took out her teeth and said "How about a BJ?" I had to decline, I had several hundred more meters to read.

 

[Lawrence R.]

Back in the early days.

I was offered 2K to take a picture of a mobile home next door and put it in my 442 and say the subject was complete.

The funny thing was, by my estimates, it would have cost less than 2K to get the subject completed!!

I told him not only was he crooked but bad at math!!

Ahh...good times...good times.

 

[stefan olafson]

Back in college in the mid '70's' I managed property. One tenant, a very nice looking young lady couldn't pay rent on time if her life depended on it. I was somewhat of a pushover for a nice smile so I put up with her for over a year in one of my duplexes.

Finally I had enough and called her up. I told her I'd be over at 1:00 for the rent, the entire amount, or she would be served eviction papers and would have to be out in three days. She agreed.

My duplex was an up and down type with two entry doors in the middle, each had a storm/screen door with the bottom half solid aluminum and the top for the screen or window.

I arrived on time and range the doorbell. I was wandering around the front of the property waiting for her response when she opened the inside door and said HI!

I walked back to the stoop and noticed she had on a crop top that reached just below her chest area..... She again greeted me with a wonderful smile and said the rent was on the kitchen table and to come on in...

I opened the screen door and found out all she was wearing was the crop top.

I was probably 23 or 24 at the time and very single. I took two steps into the duplex and realized if I went a few more steps she could be living for free off me for many months to come.

I stopped, handed her the eviction notice and left quickly. Three days later she was gone, all her furniture was still there and a frozen rattlesnake was in the freezer!

 

[Mile High Trout]

It's just not that simple

The bribe is continued work, the favor is clicking stable or increasing markets.

It used to be an unlimited supply of full fee work, if you could consistently hit the value. (Skippies, you know what I'm talking about!) The guys would not bribe you, but would cut you off, the first deal that did not work. Eventually they found the number hitters, that got continuous work for years. Then they would sometimes price gough, and the bribe was that it was o.k.

It's not bribes per say, as it is as much payoffs & special interests.

Checks & balances please.

Homeowners don't try and bribe very often. It's not suprising that they lowballed you guys. $100 dollars!!!! That just might take me to the movies! You should always get a document sealed with blood, indicating they owe you their eternal soul, and possibly the first born, before you accept any bribe. Just food for thought.

 

[Anthem]

A good buddy of mine that I grew up with got a job with the cable company shortly after high school .. his job was to turn off the cable when you did not pay your bill. Back then they climbed a pole and put a dummy fitting between you and the pole. That guy had more women offering themselves to him then he could count.

We call him STD now.

 

[Hamlet]

and people think rock stars get all the ***...

 

[RSW]

Not appraisal related, but funny. I read meters for the electrical utility company for a few years after high school. I was working my away around some subsidized apartments and standing at a group of meters on the back of the apartments when I heard a lady in the apartment say "There's that light bill man, I wonder if I give him a shot of a** would he knock off any of my bill" About that time she realized that I could both see and hear her through the open window. I just smiled and shook my head, she grinned, reached up and took out her teeth and said "How about a BJ?" I had to decline, I had several hundred more meters to read.

That's a lot of BJ's.

 

[aussie ken]

I've been offered $100 by a MB to hit value.

And then an old lady from Greece would not let me leave the house without taking a very nice coffee mug with illustrated with gold and silver plating from Greece.

Ken, you should repost this as a poll question. It would be interesting to see the results. Maybe a Yes/No poll with a few bribe amount ranges for yes answers.

Great suggestion, but not quite sure how to do that ........perhaps one of our learned moderators might consider helping a colleage from Down Under?