2. Don't give me comps. Any idiot appraiser taking it shouldn't be doing it.
Different strokes. I actively solicit agents and borrowers to provide me with whatever they think is relevant. I tell them I'll look at anything. There's no such thing as too much information for an appraiser. Nor do I form my conclusions until I get to the end so in the meantime it's always a jump ball.
I don't do that because I think I might miss something or because I need help in identifying comps. I do it to see what their best shot is so that I can dismantle it in my original report and forestall the nuisance appeal. If they don't provide me with anything else to consider (which is most of the time) then I say so: "I offered but they declined".
In no case am I going to allow a borrower or agent get away with claiming I ignored them or blew them off.
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As for demeanor, my clients' borrowers aren't the users of the report so the contents of the report won't mean much to them. But a lack of confidence can trigger complaints. As I've been telling appraisers for years: our primary stock in trade is not the signed 1004 or having an opinion of value. Anyone can do that. What we really sell is our credibility and professionalism. As you note, the reputation for good work comprises a big part of that but it isn't everything.
It's the same reason I keep everyone at arms length at an inspection and refrain from making a lot of small talk or make comments that can be misconstrued as either being more positive or negative to their situation. I'm not their friend, I'm not their adversary. I'm on the clock.